She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize