when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
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