Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
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