I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize