Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
Randomize
