I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
These 23 People Walked In On Someone And Saw Some Crazy Sh*t
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
I just really need to get the matching flask to go with my pill box. Is this another step towards rock bottom?
Confessions From 23 People Who Have Been Hiding Terrible Secrets
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.