Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
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Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
You came running into my room at 4 in the morning yelling "SANCTUARY!" and flung yourself into bed.
Hmmm, sounds like a Jaeger night then. Did I at least get to be the little spoon?
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.