marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
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If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
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I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
I was unconscious Saturday for like 6 hours after I passed out on the sidewalks of our nation's capital. Thank you America, for bottomless brunch.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.