What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
someone is gonna have my baby tonight. they just dont know it yet
I'll alert the authorities
why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
Instead of centeral air we are getting a margaritaville machine. Thought you would enjoy our logic
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
Who breaks their ankle the day before a beach wedding? This guy. Maybe this is karma for fucking someone's wife? Idk.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you