Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
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