the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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