I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
Houston, we have a squirter
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
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