btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
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I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
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Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
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