I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
I think it's god's punishment for my behavior in Vegas . Lies were told. Angels were defiled. Pools were pissed in
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
the orange of my hangover Tang is hurting my eyes... my coworkers knew it was hangover Tang too.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Randomize