she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
