This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
Found my smoke alarm in a ziploc in my toilet...again
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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