and you said cock pushups were impossible
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
It was my penance. God came down to me in the form of an angel and said, "you must atone for your sins, by puking in your mouth at church right before communion"
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
