There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
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