$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
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