My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
I'd cum for enchiladas.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
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