ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
it was average length and chubby
so kinda like him?
now i'm wondering if all guys are shaped like their penis...
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
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