i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
Randomize
