Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
I told her I had to go to work this morning, got fully dressed in a suit, walked her out, drove around the block, parked, and walked right back in my apt and went back to sleep..
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
Jimmy johns delivers to the bar behind work. Happy vodka day!
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
im so drunk that this cat is mothering me. aggressively
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