After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
Couch. On fire.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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