tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
