Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
Randomize
