No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize