after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
Just to give you a heads up, I am going home with your ex-boyfriend.... You can't be mad because he was my ex-boyfriend first
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
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Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
I've never been so embarrassed. It's like waking up as Fred Durst.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
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I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
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