you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Randomize
