right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
Ok sry I left that ambiguous......did you want contact solution or fellatio?
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
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