i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
Three words: puerto rican gang bang
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
Nothing like a dick pic from your fave ex to make you audibly exhale sadly.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
Randomize
