He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize