There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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