Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
I will never understand why the dress to get laid party is always scheduled to be during family weekend. Its not even ironically funny.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
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