My room smells like vodka and shame
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
Randomize
