was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
I woke up an hour ago with orange fingers and a condom stuck to my head.. Wtf just happened?
Randomize
