Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
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Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
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Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
We poured some Korbel out for our homie Dick Clark.
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
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