i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
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So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
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BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
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