My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
I was more concerned about the amount of mcdonalds fries on the floor around me than i was with my lack of clothes.
I have to take his virginity. It's what God put me on earth for. It's my life mission.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
I had to have the guy I went out with last night come pick me up from the hotel the next morning after I ditched him for a firefighter..don't even talk to me about a walk of shame
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
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