dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
Randomize
