mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
just heard someone say they saw a guy puke while riding a bike across campus without stopping
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
Randomize
