ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
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