singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
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