He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
I blacked out, fell off a swingset, and thought I was Liz Lemon for almost an hour.
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
