her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
I still don't like him. I'm also filled with alcohol, so I'll revisit the statement in the morning.
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
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