Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
just had sex in the back of my high school auditorium #dreamcumtrue
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed...
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
