Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
Randomize
