remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We don't really communicate like that.
Communicate like what?
Communicate like people who want to see each other when their genitals are inside their pants.
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize