All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
Unemployment check just came in. As soon as I stop pretending I have morals I'm buying weed. Puff puff pass uncle sam.
I woke up naked on my futon with a blanket half way covering my ass and 20 half eaten chicken wings on my chest... At 7 pm... That kind of day drinking
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Nah, just stick him in a closet with some cheetos, a blunt and soda. The darkness will calm him down until Mallory can be located.
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize
