I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got offered a handle of vodka and tomato soup to bring his dog home. He knows me all too well.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
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