Church boner. Awkwardddd
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
did you know the cops in wilco have clean up kits in their cars for when people puke in them? i found this out this morning. i'm finishing paperwork now. come get me plz?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
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