playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
