Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
Drinking at work by myself... My boss just walked into me copying my face on the copy machine..
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
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