You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish 🍀
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