NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
I had to cum in my sink.
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
Randomize
