Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
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