guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
Randomize
