Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Randomize
