I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
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