So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
Pińatas plus fireworks don't mix well
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
