somebody snuck up and got me drunk
I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Randomize
