my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
we're so committed to being not committed
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
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