ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
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