I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
Randomize
